2/12/2005 01:15:00 PM [ link ]
rocking horse, tiger paws!
As an early Valentine's Day present for Mike, I signed us up for a massage class so we could both learn how to give awesomer backrubs. The first ten minutes or so were really awkward. The massage therapist was explaining some basic things, and asked us to practice them. On ourselves. On our legs. I felt really silly, but I tentatively squeezed my leg.... and then looked at Mike and collapsed in giggles.Once we got more comfortable with the situation, it was way more fun to watch everyone else than to worry about feeling self-conscious. For instance:
#1
The guy who walks in and announces, "I have a catheter bag, so I can't lay on my stomach! Can we still do this?"
#2
The goofy laughing couple who WOULD NOT STOP slapping each other's asses.
#3
The lady who somehow managed to hurt her husband by applying a little too much pressure. Then, she tried to figure out what she had done that hurt, so she could avoid it, and he FLIPPED OUT.
"It was your LEFT HAND, where were you putting your LEFT HAND??"
"My left hand was here the whole time, and my right hand was here, so --"
"I KNOW IT WAS YOUR LEFT HAND THAT HURT ME, ALL RIGHT?"
After a few minutes of him yelling at her, she finally gave up and said, "Hmmph, and you wonder why I don't do this sort of thing more often?"
#4
The lady who was grunting repeatedly, and the teacher asked if it was hurting. She said no, it felt good, and her husband said, "Yep! Heh heh, sheeeeeeee's a groaner! Heh heh heh heh!"
OH MY GOD PEOPLE, you are OLD and I do NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT what you just made me think about.
Conclusion? I'm pretty sure no one came out of there with stories about us. Therefore, if we consider the class to be a random sample of the population, it follows that 2/3 of all people are weirder than me. That is both comforting and terrifying.
