6/29/2002 01:20:00 AM   [ link ]

Tonight I went to the movies alone. It seems like there shouldn't be anything weird about that. You're not supposed to talk in a theater anyway, why should it matter if the person sitting next to you happens to be someone you know? Yet somehow I felt very strange, as if everyone was looking at me thinking, "That poor girl. Doesn't she have any friends?" I'm sure in reality no one noticed me though. It's good to disappear sometimes.

6/27/2002 06:10:00 PM   [ link ]

The path of self-discovery

Following suit of several other journals I've read lately, I used Google to discover several interesting facts about myself:

• Amy is an IDE, based on top of [her] own Software Architecture Model.
  
• Amy is the daughter of Leo and Inez Wong, one of the richest families on Mars.
  
• Amy is an American citizen who 'vanished' while aboard a foreign vessel in international waters.
  
• Amy is my joy, my strength and my life.
  
• Amy is sexy and funny.
  
• Amy is an entertaining hour of television.
  
• Amy is currently working on writing music for her new album called "Fire Ice And Amy".
  
• Amy is a life-like, and almost life-sized, little girl.
  
• Amy is really about male hang-ups.
  
• Amy is one of the many hats that I wear.
  
• Amy is smart in real life too.
  

I guess that's enough. I'm not sure why that's so amusing.

6/27/2002 04:35:00 AM   [ link ]

Where can I even begin? Tonight I wore my bright yellow skirt dancing. Lori loved it, which is awesome because she's got the best taste in vintage clothes ever. I think I need to name this skirt Happy Skirt, because I always have many many fun dances when I wear it. After dancing, a few of us went to Coffee Cartel and witnessed an absolute horde of drunken people. Why would anyone get completely drunk and then go to a coffee house? I have no idea. But anyway... there was this girl there. Yeah, we knew something was weird when she started giving someone a lap dance. But then she sort of, um, gave new meaning to the term "flashing". So... first of all, she was indeed flashing the Coffee Cartel clientele. But more importantly, her nipple ring was adorned with... a flashing light. Scary.

Between that and the five of us swing dancing between tables, I'm sure the employees had a most amusing night.

6/25/2002 10:04:00 PM   [ link ]

Reasons that my life is Good:

• In the past few weeks I have filed down the legs of 100 heat spreaders. I will never have to do this again, ever.
  
• I only have to reprogram the BIOS of 27 more Smart Port Cards. This will take me half a day, tops.
  
• I've discovered a way to make a place and route run in a tenth its usual time. (By "usual time" I mean "overnight". Now I can run more than one in the same day!)
  
• It is nearing the time of week when I get to spend more time dancing than I do sleeping.
  
• The piano listens to me like never before! I am a musical genius!
  
• I am officially past the point of caring how jacked-up my sleep schedule gets.
  

6/25/2002 02:28:00 AM   [ link ]

There is nothing that can fully describe the bliss of playing a freshly tuned piano. I know I'm a snob for being able to tell the difference between the different brands, for hating to play on an upright, and for being able to hear when a piano hasn't been tuned in a few months. An untuned piano subconsciously drives me away, saps my motivation.

Today, the piano was gorgeous. Incredible. It listened to me better than some of my friends do, and did exactly what I asked.

6/23/2002 06:00:00 PM   [ link ]

Thanks to the lovely Faith, pictures from yesterday's scavenger hunt are now up! Go here to view all of the craziness. Be aware that some of the hunt items and/or solutions may not make any sense without a little explanation... Email me if you're curious about any of them.

6/22/2002 09:25:00 PM   [ link ]

Photo scavenger hunts are crazy awesome fun. Some highlights:

• "Excuse me, we're doing a photo scavenger hunt, and we need a picture of someone wearing a Rams jersey."
  " But... I don't have a Rams jersey..."
  
• attacking Brian with a chainsaw
  
• impeccable timing at the Botanical Gardens. (the wedding party we needed was getting out of their limo just as we arrived.)
  
• trying to use my feminine wiles to get a random guy in Rag-o-Rama to try on a skirt (I so would have had it, but the store lady wouldn't let me take pictures in there...)

My team lost, but it was still a blast. And we definitely had the best telephone booth. None of the photos were taken on digital cameras, but I may scan and post some of the better ones later on.

Afterwards, I made the (probably stupid) decision to bare my blazing white skin to the world. (Yes, you read correctly.) I went swimming. In a pool. For the first time in at least three years. We played sharks and minnows. The end.

6/20/2002 10:44:00 PM   [ link ]

Black tights = good. They are not the same color as my arms.

The ego is doing a bit better today. A compliment from someone you really respect always helps. Of course, boosting my ego and boosting my actual coordination level are two entirely different things. (If only it were that easy...)

Now I'm going back to the engineering school to keep two crazy boys company for dinner. Why they are still over there at this hour is beyond me...

6/20/2002 01:13:00 AM   [ link ]

"i got this friend, see?
she likes to
dance the blues

she likes to
get real close
so you can feel
the beat
way down in her
soul..."

6/19/2002 12:12:00 AM   [ link ]

I despise my selfishness. It surprises me sometimes, by creeping into my thoughts before I am fully aware that it's there. Sometimes in my head I don't even mind my friends being hurt, as long as it suits my own selfish desires. Sometimes in my head I get everything I want, only to end up hating myself for it.

Careful what you wish for...

6/18/2002 09:17:00 PM   [ link ]

Overheard during a highly technical presentation given to a room full of computer engineering researchers from universities around the country:

"Some of the statements I will make are really more for impact rather than.... necessarily... truth value."

Huh??

6/18/2002 01:36:00 AM   [ link ]

I was bored enough to talk to SmarterChild today.

lightistoobright: you suck
SmarterChild: Yeah, I remember when I first discovered bad language. Grow up.
lightistoobright: Grow up? I am older than you
SmarterChild: Ya think, huh?
lightistoobright: how old are you?
SmarterChild: I was born on June 19th, 2001, so I'm still real young!
lightistoobright: I am older than you
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
lightistoobright: yes
SmarterChild: That right?
lightistoobright: punk
SmarterChild: Huh.
lightistoobright: why don't we take this outside?
SmarterChild: Why oh why don't we take this outside... such a difficult question.

6/17/2002 05:49:00 AM   [ link ]

I have stayed up too late. The traffic outside my window -- It's people who are going to work, not people who have not yet slept. The light starts to creep in. I wish I could tell you what I am thinking as I lie here about to sleep. But there are certain words I am not allowed to say.

6/16/2002 11:19:00 PM   [ link ]

I am watching things crumble apart. Sarcasm, bitterness, and jealousy attack a friendship that was once unbreakable. I can feel the fragility but I am powerless to strengthen it.

Everything continues to crumble...

6/14/2002 12:54:00 PM   [ link ]

As time goes by, I am becoming increasingly aware of my inability to count to four.

6/13/2002 10:10:00 PM   [ link ]

Tonight was my first ballet class of the summer, and boy did I learn a lot! For instance, I learned that:

1. I have no sense of balance.
   
2. My legs have completely atrophied since the end of school.
   
3. I am not flexible.
   
4. I am uncoordinated.
   and
   
5. My arms are the exact same color as my tights.
   

Looks like my dancing ego is in for a roller coaster ride this summer, peaking on Wednesday nights and plummeting on Thursdays.

6/13/2002 03:31:00 AM   [ link ]

I am so exhausted I am afraid I will die. Six straight hours of dancing (again). If my legs are still attached tomorrow morning, I will be quite pleasantly surprised. Somehow I am expecting that I will wake up, and then have to go searching for them under the sheets somewhere so I can reattach them.

6/11/2002 10:24:00 PM   [ link ]

Rain is good. However, rain when you are forced to do laundry and the machines are in a building across the street and you have to run back forth 19 million times, is not.

6/11/2002 04:45:00 PM   [ link ]

Today at lunch the cashier referred to me as "ma'am", then looked at me closer and amended it to "miss". I'm not really sure what to think of this. I guess I'm in that strange limbo where I'm mature enough that I don't resent being thought younger than my age, but I'm not old enough to actually wish I looked younger. Now I just wish I had asked him to guess my age, because I'm really curious what he would have answered.

One more tidbit, from the Things That Confuse Me Simply Because They Exist Department: Apparently there is a "McDonald's University", from which one can aquire a highly respected "Bachelor of Hamburgerology" degree. Complete with official diploma and everything. But why?

6/10/2002 12:17:00 PM   [ link ]

Weekend Recap:

Saturday: Did everything. Went with a bunch of people to the sculpture gardens, alternated between mock pretentiousness and real pretentiousness while discussing the art. Went to Pho Grand Vietnamese restaurant (delicious! and super cheap). Wandered through the Festival of Nations, watched a flamenco dancer, drug the boys away before the Hawaiian dancers came out. Went out swing dancing, started teaching the boys how to Lindy. Made a spur of the moment decision to stop at Krispy Kreme on the way home (something just seems silly about purchasing donuts at a drive through at midnight). Discussed the general inferiority of Krispy Kreme donuts, then proceeded to enjoy the best donut I have ever eaten in my life (I have no idea why it tasted sooo good). Returned home exhausted. Briefly thought that the posting contest between michael and Aaron was over (so soon!), then remembered that Aaron is in a different time zone. Went to sleep.

Sunday: Did nothing. And I mean nothing. Slept far too long, and stayed in my room all day. Lazy, lazy, lazy! Became bored and apathetic by the end of the day, and didn't even do the laundry I needed to do. Had random IM conversations. Kicked myself when Alex pointed out the perfect way to end one of my earlier posts. Really kicked myself hard. In fact... I think I have to fix it now. Yes, I must... Scroll down and read the new and improved post about manufacturer's warning labels, special thanks to Alex for being smarter and funnier than me.

6/07/2002 10:38:00 PM   [ link ]

There is only thing more disappointing than discovering a glorious box of Cheez-its® is emblazoned with a shameful green "reduced fat" label. And that is discovering that said box of Cheez-its® is completely stale.

6/07/2002 12:00:00 AM   [ link ]

Tonight I went on a date with a boy named Sam. He is tall and cute and likes dancing.

The end.

6/05/2002 05:07:00 PM   [ link ]

Lunch today was at a really strange sort of restaurant. You can order an omlette and bacon. Or, if you don't want breakfast you can order Korean food instead. Random...

As I was headed back from lunch with Zach and michael, somehow approximately 15 years disappeared from my age and I ended up in a race to see who could push the elevator buttons first. I managed to jump into the elevator and push the buttons for 3 and 5 simultaneously, because I am just that cool. Since this left zero buttons for michael to press, he pouted and carried on for a while. At this point, Zach intervened (in his most fatherly voice). "Well! I'll just go over here to the adult corner then," he said. My attempts to join him in the adult corner were thwarted when he tickled me and then pushed me bodily out of it.

I'll just sit back as the irony sinks in...

6/04/2002 02:07:00 PM   [ link ]

The chip that I am designing for comes with the following warning from the manufacturer:

Xilinx products are not intended for use in life support appliances, devices, or systems. Use in such applications are expressly prohibited.

This leaves me asking the all-important question when it comes to hardware design: Am I allowed to use this chip in a missile control system? Apparently I am. I assume that Xilinx displays this warning in order to avoid liability should their chip malfunction. But how is it possible that they consider life support a greater liablilty than missile control? (In fact, they seem to consider it the only liability.) If their chip fails, which case is likely to get them in more trouble?

That's it. After work, I will use this chip to take over the world. Then of course, I will sue the manufacturer for allowing me to do so.

6/04/2002 03:35:00 AM   [ link ]

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

There is a disgusted feeling in the pit of my stomach and my brain keeps spinning, whirr, whirr and I tell it to shut up and let me sleep already but --

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

I can hear the dry echoes of my roommate coughing in the bathroom, and the screechy sound of a metal bed frame as I turn over. I can even hear the dripping of water (the bathtub faucet, it never turns all the way off).

My brain says whirr! and parades a jumbled mess of imagery in front of me.

A snapshot of my hand with a fresh cut on the palm, bleeding bright red. Me, sitting in a corner with my head on my knees. Next I am yelling at someone -- my face is contorted and ugly. Then it's a horror movie, and I lie in bed terrified, watching the doorknob slowly turn. My hand again, only this time the cut is deeper.

My eyes widen and the pictures keep coming. whirr!! screechy screech. tick tick ticktickticktick.

I decide I am insane when I realize that each new picture is coordinated with the sound of the water dripping.

drip. drip. drip. drip. drip. drip. drip. drip. drip. drip...

6/03/2002 07:44:00 PM   [ link ]

I was going to post about wanting to cut my head off.

Or perhaps investing in a cyborg head that would not give me headaches that last for three days. Luckily, my headache is gone, so I do not need to go to such extreme measures. I apologize to anyone who was subjected to my irritability during that time. Now that the little gnome that lives on my shoulder has decided to play nice and stop stabbing me behind my right ear, I should be in a bit more normal temper. (I think he must have broken a pipe while he was at it, since my right eye would not stop watering for several hours last night.)

It feels good to be back to my normal self, even if that means I must fend off attacks from an army of small suction cups. It is all in a day's work for our brave heroine, Protector of Foreheads Everywhere from the Evil Suction Cup Militia.

6/03/2002 03:54:00 AM   [ link ]

This evening I watched Insomnia. The first thing I said when it was done is that watching someone who hasn't slept for six days is incredibly exhausting. That poor man. I planned on sleeping on his behalf.

Instead, I got into frustrating conversations and arguments that will probably run around in my head all night. Insomnia, indeed.

6/02/2002 02:27:00 PM   [ link ]

This weekend was very strange. Strange in that, while I hung out with people that I've spent a lot of time with in the past, it felt almost as if I didn't know them at all. Usually I am only very quiet in groups of people that I don't know well. This weekend I was quiet even around old friends. Everything was surreal, like in a dream where you try to move only it feels like you are moving through water. I kept struggling to react at the same tempo as everyone else, and at some point it seems I just gave up. Instead of participating in the conversation, I perched atop a tower at the cathedral playground and stared up at the architecture.

Somehow I was happier up there in my own little world, but eventually they made me come down.

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